Angry

I'm a bit angry at myself right now....on one hand I'm actually happy cause I'm eating Total Raisin Bran, which tastes like absolute crap, but on the other I just couldn't get to that 10 mile mark. Here's why I'm angry....a few months back when I decided to run these marathons, I started training pretty hard. The most I had ran was about 12 miles, which at the time was good, but I was always DEAD tired...I trained and trained until I hurt myself, and then I got lazy. I was only down for about two days, but it was two days of wretched pain. Afterwards, I let myself go, and just couldn't get my ass in gear. I ran a 5K with my buddy Ryan Cole, who is a pretty amazing runner. I hate that he makes it look effortless, but I'm catching up. Well in the 5K in June, I did pretty awful...I changed my schedule a bit, then ran the 5K on the 4th of July, and did a heck of a lot better. I have it stuck in my head that I need to keep pushing myself, over and over and over...but deep down I know I'll only be hurting myself. I didn't start training seriously again until literally about a week and a half ago and I'm supposed to expect myself to run 20 miles in 2 days? In my mind I like it, but realistically I know I have to take it easy. ( I'm eating Honey Nut Cheerios now...) I just feel like I don't have a lot of time, when I really have a little over 3 months to train. It's plenty of time, but I'm growing impatient. I'm becoming physically fit, and now I need to get mentally fit...on more than just running...on life.

"If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail..."